Tag Archive | memoir

Getting Over Rejection

Let’s play Bad News/Good News. Which do you want first? Bad? Okay: I’ve now gotten four rejections on my memoir queries. They’ve all been very kind and gentle, but they’re still No. The first was fine, the second was disappointing for a moment, the third was a deep breath, and the fourth kicked my butt for some reason. I really was expecting this, but apparently that doesn’t make it easier. Those rejections, combined with the knowledge that memoirs are hard to sell and have to be extremely unusual and compelling, had me thinking I should scrap the current manuscript and rewrite it as fiction.

But, good news: after several days of extreme self-doubt, I feel ready to get back to work. I have more agents to query; I might as well get through the list before giving up. I had a very kind friend who offered to read my query letter and synopsis, so I’ve got some strong feedback to help me as I revise. My family is heading out for the day so I’ll have some quiet time to really focus…if I can resist the call of my knitting.

I finished the newest hat yesterday; it was a super quick one. The pattern is called Sneaky Snakes and the easy 4-row lace pattern made a nifty squiggly pattern. There are only three decrease rounds so you definitely want to make sure you’ve got a long enough body. I like how mine ended up.With that done, I made some more progress on my Color Block Wrap. I’ve got the first block done, but I only made it to 65 stitches instead of 69. It’s fine, though. It’s delicious to knit and I’m looking forward to moving on to the second color tonight. It will be my reward for revising my query letter!

Writing by Numbers

Mar17

4: queries sent yesterday

8: queries sent total

1: rejection received

31: agents who rep memoir on my list. This is not a very high number. I’m sure I can find more if I keep searching, though.

10: agents who require a proposal for non-fiction queries. I confess, these are lower on my list. A proposal includes so much detailed stuff: platform, comp titles, background, expertise, why is my book different/better, table of contents with chapter summaries etc…and well, it’s not just that it’s harder than the query/synopsis stuff, but it’s also that I don’t have as much to fill out a proposal. No major platform. Expertise? Um, it’s my life. And maybe that means my manuscript won’t be accepted, and if so, I’ll deal with that. But in the meantime, I’m working on compiling all this proposal stuff and I’ll give it a shot.

3: entries I get on today’s Twitter PitMad contest! I can pitch my book 3 times, and if an agent likes/retweets it, they want me to query them. Fingers crossed. Here was my first entry from this morning: SAHM finds new life in retail management, deals with theft, lies & drunkenness until illness forces her to check priorities.

4: library books I checked out yesterday. I got Stephen King’s On Writing, which I can’t believe I haven’t read yet, and Joan Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking, which is supposed to be a fantastic memoir. Also got two YA novels for fun.

0: new completed knitting projects. But I’ve been working on my Moonstone Wrap, and I’ve used up the first two skeins and am on the second pair, so it should be done just in time for warm weather to be here, haha! For those celebrating today, have a fun and safe St. Patrick’s day!

Memoir or Novel?

Mar15

It’s voting day here in Missouri and you can bet I’ll be out there doing my part! I hope all my fellow voters today do the same. Now, maybe I should have a more patriotic project to show off today, but all I’ve got is the completed green hat. Good enough for March, I think. Pattern is Duality, yarn is Malabrigo Rios in Lettuce. I’ve got enough leftover of it and the teal that I really want to make a striped version now.

Confession time: I didn’t get my two queries done yesterday. Somehow I got stuck in a self-defeating mood, convinced that I’m wasting my time trying to sell this memoir that no one will want to read. And I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve written other stuff too. I’ve got two completed novels in my files. So I thought about how I never did anything with those, and how the one I’m currently revising is surely trite and common. Then I thought about how I’m still struggling to build my Etsy business, and my proofreading client base, and suddenly it hit me that I’m trying all these things and none of them are working out the way I want them to. And bam, before you know it, my head is in a not-so-good place.

Therefore, I spent much of the day outside with the puppies instead. It was a beautiful day, so I don’t consider it time wasted. I’ll consider it a mental health day.

I soaked up sunshine and puppy loving and the smell of spring flowers. I wrote in my journal, and I knit on my hat.

And today is a better day. Nope, I’m not giving up yet! I may still be unconvinced about my memoir but I’m going to work on revising my synopsis and query letter and then contact more agents. But I’m also pondering the idea of fictionalizing it, if this doesn’t work out. There are a few benefits to that route: I get more flexibility and freedom in storytelling, there’s no legal/liability issue from using the real company’s name, fiction is simpler to query (no lengthy, complex proposals), more agents rep fiction than memoir, and fiction is more marketable. But my concern is whether I would lose the heart of the story by making it fiction. Maybe part of its appeal is that it’s honest and true, and if it were a novel, it wouldn’t be as relatable.

What do you think, readers out there? Do you like non-celebrity memoirs? Do you seek them out? What draws you to them?

Here’s Grace’s opinion. Make of it what you will.

Don’t forget to vote, whenever it’s your turn! Every single vote counts!

It’s MSWL Day!

Mar10

I am in a bit of a knitting lull, friends. This week has kept me busy and distracted enough that there’s just not a lot of yarn stuff going on. I did have some yesterday during flute lesson, and I cast on for something new because I’m so bored with all my current WIPs. I’ve got a blanket, a wrap, a scarf I’m not sure I’m liking, and the Because I Love You Wrap which is waiting to be cast on yet again. None of those sound like fun car knitting, do they? No, they do not. Ergo, a hat. It’s another Lace Ribbon Slouch hat like this aqua one, only this time in white cotton. I also went down in needle size, to 5s and 7s, since the first hat was a bit large.

Today is errand-free, so you’d think I’d have lots of knitting time, but it’s also #MSWL day on Twitter! That stands for manuscript wish list, and it’s when agents/editors post what kind of projects they’re looking for. It’s a fantastic resource for writers like me, looking for an agent, so I’ll be keeping track of that throughout the day and working on my queries at the same time.

My biggest struggle with MSWL is that memoir is a really difficult genre to break into (unless you’re a celebrity) so there’s very few MSWL requests for it. Many agents seem resistant to memoirs, many only want authors with an established platform, and those that do take on memoirs are *extremely* selective. With good reason, I’m sure: memoir isn’t a hot seller the same way commercial fiction, YA, or thrillers are, so the writing/premise/hook etc all have to be top-notch.

But there are memoir readers out there like me, who like reading memoirs by ordinary people. I know there’s at least one, because this article from bookriot.com popped up in my Facebook feed the other day, and it was the absolute perfect boost I needed. It’s called What Makes You Pick Up a Memoir, and this last bit summed up my thoughts exactly:

“I think people read memoirs by “non-famous” people to get a glimpse into someone else’s life. Readers, by nature, are curious people. What better way to satisfy that curiosity than losing yourself in someone else’s story for 200 pages? We read memoir for connection, to feel less alone, to know that someone else out there has struggled with something similar and lived to tell the tale. We read it for entertainment (I never laugh out loud at books, but Tina Fey’s Bossypants changed that), we read it for hope.”

SEE? Isn’t that awesome? That’s me. That’s my audience, people like her. So this is my hope: that my story is interesting and written well enough to engage the right agent/editor so I can get my book into her hands!

Spring has sprung in my neck of the woods so everything is sunny and bright and optimistic. The puppies are full of spring fever and spend most of the morning romping outside before coming in and passing out like this. As much as I like to watch them play, I do love them when they’re all sleepy and peaceful.

Frogging and Query Letters

Mar7

Ugh. I need to frog my Because I Love You Wrap and start over. Okay, no, I don’t really *need* to, but I want to and won’t be happy with it if I don’t. Here’s what I’ve got so far: I love how it’s knitting up, and I even watched a video about intarsia and figured out the yarn-twisting bit so there’s no hole where I picked up the teal for the stripe. Great, right? Right! But then I looked at the pattern again and realized that in the second half of the shawl, the stockinette sections are much bigger because of how the shawl grows. I would much rather have the variegated yarn in the big sections of stockinette than the solid teal. Maybe it’s a minor thing, maybe it won’t make a huge difference, but in my mind right now, I’m thinking it will. The only downside is that I’ll lose those two lengths of teal yarn (unless I just use them and have even more ends to weave in). But at least I figured it out before I got even further into the wrap!

Here’s some good news though: remember my Duality hat from yesterday? The designer noticed my project page on Ravelry and asked to feature it on the pattern page!! I love when that happens! You can see it here, and remember, today’s the last day to get the pattern for free!

And more good news (maybe): I sent my first query letters to agents yesterday!! I don’t know if I’ll ever think my memoir manuscript is “done” but it feels done. It feels ready, although of course as soon as I sent the letters I was consumed with doubt and self-loathing. I only did three; they take longer than you’d think. You have to determine each agent’s requirements, tailor your query letter for each agent, then copy and paste the requested materials (and in my case, reformat it when it goes all wonky in the email). I also had to write a brief synopsis, since one agent requested it along with the query letter. Each one is so different, it seems like. And there’s so much pressure to be PERFECT with that one short letter.

Ugh. It’s hard hard hard. But also so exciting. It feels wonderful to move on to this step, to believe in myself enough to send my book out for others to judge. And they will, and most of them will reject it. I recognize that, and it’s okay. I know there are thousands of books written every year and agents have to turn down perfectly good books just because it didn’t call their name. I only need one, one fabulous agent who believes she can sell this book to a publisher. Until I find her, I’ll keep sending out queries and waiting patiently.

And I’ll knit of course, to calm my nerves while I’m pretending to be patient.

Okay, fine, you’re right. Yes, I’ll play with the puppies too.

Oscar Night Hat

Feb29

Last night was the Oscars, and of course I was there from the red carpet to the bitter bitter end. No, I’m not commenting on the winners. I really had no preferences. It was just bitter because by then I was so tired but didn’t want to miss any Chris Rock. The upside to a show five hours long (if you count the pre-show) is plenty of knitting time. Our warmer weather made me want a Spring-y project, so I pulled out some Lion Brand Cotton-ease and cast on for a lacy hat. The pattern is Lace Ribbon Slouch Hat and I’m really enjoying it. I love the zig-zag. I did switch the brim from garter stitch to ribbing, because I figure hats always need that stretch, especially one made with cotton. You’d think with that much time it would be done, but I did have to pay a little bit of attention to the lace at times, and I kept getting distracted by the show. Some parts I just had to watch. So I’ve got just one more pattern row and then the decreases. It’ll easily get done today, but not right away. I’m babysitting my newest nephew today for the first time, the one who’s cute but often cranky, and I’m really hoping he treats me well!

I also got my manuscript back from my second reader over the weekend, and she said she really enjoyed reading it. I’m choosing to believe her! But she also gave me some good feedback, so yesterday I dove back in and did a bit more revising. I’m so close to being done with this silly thing! But now I’m wondering if the beginning is too boring. I mean, if someone only asks for five pages, are mine good enough to make them want more? So I’m pondering that, trying to figure out if I can jazz up the first chapter. Still, my goal is to get it submitted to at least one agent by the end of March! yikes scary exciting am I ready for rejection?

Here’s what I found when I got up this morning. Yes, that’s a knife on my couch. Grace is a knife thief. Usually it’s butter knives, because she’s obsessed with butter, but we’ve gotten pretty good at keeping our sharp knives out of her reach. Last night we must have gotten lazy (I was watching the Oscars. I couldn’t leave to wash dishes. Seriously.) so sometime this morning she was probably thrilled to reach the chicken knife. She’s fine. She didn’t have it very long, and I know that because the handle hasn’t been chewed on. She’s grown up a lot but I guess she’ll never lose her love for knives.

Happy Monday, friends. Here’s hoping you don’t find any hidden knives in your house.

Retail Memories: A manuscript snippet

Jul24

This is scary. But I’m going to do it anyway. *deep breath* I spent several years working retail, and my company is closing soon. I’ve been working on a memoir about my retail escapades, and today I thought for Throwback Thursday I would share a little snippet. You meet a lot of customers over seven years and many of them were good. And many were…not. *Please note, names have been changed!*

***

I hate to say it, but when it came to outright rudeness, some of our older customers took the prize. I don’t know if it was the mindset of “I’ve lived this long so I can say what I want”, or if we truly just lose our filter as we age, but there were a lot of insensitive women out there. Sometimes it was a minor snub: ignoring us when we talked to them, using a cold voice to tell us, “No. I don’t need your help.” Sometimes they were flat-out mean, like Martha and Hazel.

These two women (I don’t want to use the word “ladies”) were the bitchiest couple of women I ever had to help. They were friends, probably in their late 70s, and they typically shopped together. Martha had short brown curly hair and a permanent scowl on her face. Hazel was beautiful: gorgeous thick platinum hair, porcelain skin, big eyes, wide smile. She had to have been a knockout when she was young. Hazel was in better health so she drove them to the store. When they were there, they demanded the full attention of at least one associate for their entire visit. Being older, often it was easier for them to call us than come in. If we were really lucky, they would use three-way calling to call us together.

“This is Bonny, how can I help you?”

“Yeah, I need another pair of those pants.”

Of course I knew who it was. We had caller ID on our phone. But the idea that she expected me to know her instantly, and know what pants she was talking about, irked me.

“I’m sorry, who is this?”

“It’s Martha!” she snapped. “Hazel needs another pair of those jeans she bought!”

At that point, I would hold back my sigh and start looking her up in the computer to try to figure out which pants she was talking about.

“Can you tell me which jeans they were, Martha?”

“The black ones! Hold on, let me get Hazel on the phone.”

By the time Hazel joined us, I was looking through her profile. “Okay, Hazel, you need another pair of the classic waist straight leg in size 16?”

“No no no, I need the petite 16.”

“We don’t have that in the store. You bought the 16. You would have to order the petite and have it sent to you.”

“I don’t think that’s right. I’m sure I bought a petite.”

Martha couldn’t hold it in. “Well, we bought it there the other day!” No you didn’t. “Maybe whoever helped us that day knew how to find things.” Said with contempt and derision. Yep, that was me. “But if you can’t manage to find it, then fine. Order it and send it to her.”

“I can’t do that, Martha. You’ll have to call customer service.”

“Oh no! I’m not doing that! They’ll charge me shipping and there’s no way in hell I’m paying shipping just because you can’t find the right pants!”

Logic and reason were useless. If I tried to tell them that we weren’t allowed to place orders over the phone (which was true and I did try to explain sometimes), one of them (usually Martha) carped that we did it before and they couldn’t always get in the store and they were our best customers.

Resistance was futile. It made it difficult when they called asking for things we didn’t have, items they’d seen in some other store’s ad and were convinced were ours. At least once, Martha insisted that we carried other brand names so of course we would have these pants she’d seen at Macy’s. While we realized part of the problem was honest confusion borne of age and mental decline, their attitudes and the way they spoke to us made it very difficult to be sympathetic.

For a long time, I thought Martha was the ringleader in their antics, since she took charge when they came in. Then one day I helped Hazel when she came in without Martha and realized they just had different styles of bitchiness. Martha was overt, always looking for a fight. Hazel was a queen who expected to be catered to, and would speak with a cutting forcefulness if we didn’t comply with her requests. More often than not, it wasn’t worth the effort to argue with them. We tried our best to anticipate and meet their needs in hopes that they would go peacefully, because in the long run, we knew we would end up doing whatever they wanted.

***

So there you have it. Just one encounter of many. I’d love feedback if you have it. Just be constructive and not cruel, if you don’t mind!