When my alarm went off this morning, I felt so tired at the thought of getting up and going to work. It feels like this week has already been two months long. I think it’s because sleep doesn’t help very much when it’s emotional fatigue you’re dealing with. And yet! I got up and did all the things I was supposed to do, so there’s a win. And I have yet another finished cowl to share, so there’s another.

I pulled out my hibernating turquoise cowl and decided it was time to finish it. It alternates several rows of stockinette with lace so while I was working on the plain rows, I also read a book on my iPad, which kept me from getting too bored with the cowl. And I was farther along than I realized, so I got to the end pretty quickly.

The pattern is called Rudimentary (Etsy link) and it’s fine, except it had a few typos which bothered me. And just now, when I went to get the link, I realized my middle section isn’t as big as it’s supposed to be – not sure if that’s my error or the pattern’s! I didn’t love the pattern, wouldn’t knit it again, but eh, it was fine. I have no idea what the yarn is. It was sitting in my stash, already caked, and I couldn’t find a loose tag or ball band, so all I know is that it’s some type of sock yarn with stellina. And it’s pretty.

The color was really hard to capture. It was raining so I couldn’t go outside, and the light by the windows was too bright. But this is close, and at least you can see the different lace patterns.

Happy Tuesday, friends.

Even though knitting hasn’t been quite as joyful for me lately, I’m still trucking along on several projects. I cast on my second Turtle Dove II, with the peacock yarn, but it’s hibernating in the early stages of the yoke increases. I’ve got a bright turquoise fingering weight lace cowl going, but it’s very meh for me. I’ll finish it at some point. I did finish a shawl with two skeins of MadTosh Pashmina, which is a yummy blend of merino, silk and cashmere, in a stunning color called Wino Forever that’s impossible for me to truly capture in a photo, but maybe you’ll get some idea.

The pattern is called the Anomalie Shawl (non-Rav link), which is a crescent shape built of alternating ribbing and garter sections. It was wonderful to knit, both yarn and pattern, but didn’t end up quite as big as I’d hoped, even with using two skeins. I also finished the Chai Latte cowl, which I have in a book called Coffee House Knits but is also available online (non-Rav link). It’s currently blocking but here’s how it looked in progress. The yarn is Malabrigo Rios in Purpuras.

And I’m working on a fun single-skein shawl called The Bright Side (free on Rav), with gray/rainbow yarn from Desert Panda. This one is wonderfully mindless and wonderfully cheerful.

Soon I’ll be casting on a baby blanket for a co-worker gift, and I’m itching to cast on a shawl with the new yarn I got at the yarn store Friday. Just the three on the left – the silver sparkle I bought because it was on sale and it’s always a good idea for me to have silver sparkle in my stash. I’m planning to make a Joji shawl called Jodi. It’s available on LoveCrafts, which I prefer, but it’s $1.20 more than it is on Rav, which is kind of frustrating because I prefer not to give Rav money when I can help it. Maybe the fees are higher on that site?

I’ve now read everything Abbi Waxman has written and am almost done with Unraveling by Peggy Orenstein, which is fabulous and I highly recommend for all fiber lovers. It does NOT make me want to shear a sheep and make my own yarn, and it gives me a greater appreciation for all those who are able to do it and end up with gorgeous yarn at the end.

Happy Sunday, friends.

Grace’s cancer is back. Back in November, she had a growth removed from her muzzle that turned out to be a mast cell tumor, and they couldn’t get clean margins. Maybe it’s the worrier in me, but I just felt like I knew it would come back, that she was living on borrowed time. It came back sneakily – under the skin, more inside her mouth, so I didn’t notice it growing right away. But it’s there, and it’s growing, and every once in a while we can tell it’s bothering her. Surgery’s not an option, so our vet has referred us to a veterinary oncologist and the earliest we can get in is April 5. It seems pretty clear that treatment won’t be curative. We’ll be looking at options to slow the growth and buy a little more time.

For the most part, she’s fine – she’s excited to eat, excited to go on walks, still cheerful and happy and playful. In a way that’s wonderful – I want her to feel like that! And in a way it’s really hard – it’s so unfair that this stupid tumor is going to take away this otherwise happy, healthy dog. But I guess cancer’s like that, right? It’s a mean sonofabitch that attacks indiscriminately sometimes.

So. Yeah. Between that and a couple of really stressful weeks at work, I’m struggling a little bit. I seem to have lost some of my knitting mojo – I’m definitely off sock knitting, which is bizarre, and I’m not excited about knitting anything else. I just knit because it’s there and I need something to occupy my hands, if not my mind. I even went to a yarn store yesterday, for the first time all year, looking for that dopamine hit. It helped, a little, not as much as it used to. But I’ll get back there. Until then, I’ll just keep muddling through each day. Thanks for listening, friends.