Tag Archive | writing

You guys rock

Guys, I love you. Blogville is so weird and wonderful. I never thought I’d be writing a blog post that’s basically like a private journal entry, but I got such wonderful, thoughtful comments that it makes my heart happy. Writing has always been how I work through a lot of my hard thoughts, and just writing that post helped me a lot. But then to hear from others who felt the same, and others who were encouraging and supportive… it’s so good. This morning, writing this post reminded me of a song, Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick, whose lyrics I love:

Two AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
‘Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to

So thank you, for using my words to be kind to me and to yourselves. One of the comments made me realize that if I’d made different choices, I might never have started crocheting or knitting, and I can’t imagine not having that in my life, or having the amazing fiber community. I am grateful.

Okay, enough sappiness. I have photos of yarn shops and yarn to share but that’ll be tomorrow. I wanted this to be first.

Knitting Journal

I’m stuck, guys. I mentioned yesterday that I want to start a knitting journal, and I really do. I’ve got the notebook picked out (my pretty new purple Rhodia) and I have a pen inked and ready (my pretty new silver Kaweco with pretty new purple Waterman ink). I have a list of topics/ideas/pages for my journal. But I’m struggling to actually put pen to paper. You see, what if I do it wrong?

No, I know, there is no “wrong”. It’s fine however I do it, as long as it works for me. But what will work for me? And what if I change my mind later? Do I want to designate a page for each topic, or do I want to write chronologically, like I do in my regular journal? I read Kate Davies’ fantastic post about how she journals and especially liked the idea of being able to find things retroactively, so I know I’ll flag some pages to return to (blog post ideas, photos to take, review projects). There’s a part of me that loves the look of a beautiful bullet journal, neatly organized and decorated, but honestly…I’d rather spend my creative time with my yarn, and not decorating my journal. So maybe I need to focus on Kate’s advice:

“So my first principle is to just put everything in one place. That is, when you have a new idea, or a new thing that you need to record, don’t worry about where it needs to go, or how it should be categorised – just start on a new page, or draw a line under the last item in the journal and record it. It doesn’t matter at all if this thing is of a different kind (or category) to the last thing that you wrote or drew . . . just write it down, in its new place, and record what you need to about it.”

Just write it down. Surely I can do that.

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Pretty in Pink: LAMY Al-Star Special Edition

Through all my years as a pen enthusiast, I always said I didn’t like the look of the LAMY Al-Star or Safari pens. Something about the clip put me off, despite how much I loved all of their bright colors. Then I wrote with one, and I’ll be darned if I didn’t love it. I love the triangle grip, I love the smoothness of the nib (my fave is the Medium), I love that the ink flows generously. They’re lightweight but a generous length, making it easy for me to write with one for prolonged periods. The ink cartridges are proprietary, which isn’t the best, but they’re big and last a long time, and you can choose from a variety of super fun colors.

Once I realized how much I enjoyed writing with one, of course my opinion of their appearance changed, and now I like the utilitarian look of the clip. In a short time, I managed to add four LAMYs to my collection, and I thought that would be enough for quite a while. Then I saw their 2018 Vibrant Pink special edition, and I was weak (Sorry, honey. Couldn’t resist!). Mine arrived yesterday and it’s stunning!

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That’s a true representation of the color: it’s this gorgeous shiny metallic fuchsia, which might be close to overtaking purple as my favorite color.

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Of course I had to get some of the matching Vibrant Pink ink cartridges too. I think I’ll need to order more right away!

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The ink is just as pink and vibrant as the pen. Why would I put any other color in there?

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I ordered mine from Goulet Pens and was delighted that they added a Tootsie Pop to my package; that’s a neat touch. But I’m pretty sure this pen is available at most of your favorite fine-pen sites too. Just don’t wait too long; I bet this one will be a hot seller!

Purple Leather Pen Case

A while back, I read a blog post on the Well-Appointed Desk that featured a beautiful wooden letter box sold by Galen Leather. A few clicks later, I was drooling over all the gorgeous leather goods on their site. (You too can drool: find their site here!) Aside from the stellar letter box, they had leather pen cases in a wide variety of colors and sizes. When I saw the purple one, my admiration kicked into desperation, and since it was still before Christmas, I immediately sent the link to the husband as a gift demand suggestion. He soon replied that they’re based in Turkey, and there was a long lead-time for the case, so having it by Christmas wasn’t an option. Oh well, another occasion would present itself. I couldn’t be bereft, given all the lovely gifts that I received.

But then! HaHA! Husband confessed that he had fibbed slightly, and the case was available, and was supposed to have arrived before Christmas, but had been delayed. Yes, I had another present on the way, and after several long days of waiting, it finally arrived this week. And it was truly well worth the wait, friends. Just look.

fullsizeoutput_ed8First out of the bubble wrap was the sturdy cardboard box with the beautiful logo. I love that they included a ruler/bookmark.

fullsizeoutput_ed9I lifted the lid and immediately fell in love, the color was so gorgeous. Just look at that purple!! Again, I was impressed by the packaging: a heavy paper label circled the case.

fullsizeoutput_edaBefore sliding that off, though, I explored the other items in the box: an informational card with care and cleaning instructions, and my own little handmade Evil Eye charm! I haven’t decided if it’s going to become a stitch marker or a pendant. I love it.

fullsizeoutput_edbFinally I slid off the label, sniffed the yummy leather, and unzipped the smooth zipper. The interior is also a stunning purple, with purple elastic loops and a slot to slide in a notebook. My favorite purple pens immediately went inside.

Even though I had to wait a little while, I would definitely order from them again. Everything is extremely well-made, with incredible attention to detail. They created a wonderful experience from the very beginning, wowing me before I even got to the product. The case is gorgeous but also sturdy, and I know it will protect my pens well. I’m in love with this case, and it’ll be going everywhere with me.

Collector or Hoarder?

This post isn’t really about yarn. While I do have a substantial yarn stash, I’m a collector of many things, including pens. Not just any pens. Fine pens, mostly. Beautiful, well-made, unusual, not-cheap pens. I have a particular fondness for fountain pens. My collection has outgrown its current storage solution, which to me only means I need more storage. But I’m also starting to question myself. I’ve been collecting mostly based on looks, but lately I’ve been using them enough, and getting a wide enough variety, that I’m starting to develop strong opinions about how they write. Now I have a couple of pens that I think are beautiful, but I don’t love to write with them.

While I recognize intellectually that it makes no sense to keep a pen you don’t like to use, there’s that collector/hoarder part of me that wants them to stay in my collection. Partly it’s a money thing: I hate to sell things for less than I paid for them, and I don’t think these pens are valuable enough to make me a profit. And partly it’s that I’m selfish and want ALL THE THINGS to be mine, especially pretty things.

Maybe I need to focus on a different perspective. If I sell them, even if it’s a little bit less than I paid, I’m still getting some money back, and I’m reclaiming some space in my collection for something that might be delightful both to look at and to use.

Like I said, my brain knows what I should do. I’ve even done it before with yarn, sold beautiful yarns that weren’t meant for me for whatever reason. I still have a large yarn stash, but they’re all yarns I love and want to use eventually. Why am I struggling now? Not sure. Still, I think I’m on the way to being able to let go. I just need to write with them some more to make sure.

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Do you have something you struggle to let go of, even though you know you should?

Thoughts on Creativity

It’s only within the last few years that I’ve been able to think of myself as a creative person. I always thought creative people were the artists, the clothing designers, published authors, the people who can bring things to life just from their mind. Me? I wrote stories that didn’t go anywhere. I made jewelry for a few years, then I scrapbooked for a few years. I knit and crochet, but I use other people’s yarns and other people’s patterns and just replicate them.

But guys, you know what? I AM creative. I write stories that haven’t been written before, about characters I make up. I have three complete manuscripts. Three full-length book-type things. Sure, they haven’t been published. Doesn’t mean they’re not creative. And it doesn’t mean they’re not worthwhile. Maybe those were just the ones I needed to get out before writing The One.

I’m always struggling with self-worth as far as writing goes, swinging from “Yes! I’m a great writer!” to “Who do I think I am, thinking someone else will want to read this?” Because I’ve never published a book, I think I’m not a writer. Well. That’s dumb. And I just have to keep telling myself that. I’ve been writing since I was a kid. I’ve written short stories and novel-length stories and filled a dozen journals and I’ve kept this blog for three years now. I don’t write every day, but I keep coming back to writing. I am a writer.

Wow. It wasn’t until I wrote that, that I realized how true it is. I keep coming back to writing.

With my yarn, I put colors and textures and patterns together. I’m the one who chooses what will go with what. I don’t think I’ve ever used the recommended yarn for any pattern, and I don’t think I’ve ever even made a pattern in the same color(s) as the designer. I take their ideas and put my own spin on them. That IS creative.

And for a while now, I’ve been trying to figure out how to combine the yarn and the writing. I want to write a book where yarn/knitting is a focal point. I’ve tried, and it hasn’t worked yet. But I’m going to keep trying.

I don’t know why, but I am flush with creative energy right now, and it feels awesome. The focus has turned away from knitting and back toward writing, but that’s kind of typical for me. I tend to focus obsessively on one thing for a while, then move on. I’m not done with knitting, not at all! I spent three hours at a football game last night and was delighted to have the time to knit on the baby blanket. But in the evenings, or weekends like this, my brain is gravitating toward writing.

Not just writing, either. I’ve always wished I could draw well, and I always told myself I just couldn’t do it. Then a few days ago I was admiring a selection of drawing books and the husband said, “Why don’t you try it? You never know.” And for some reason, this time I agreed. Why not, indeed. I didn’t have to show anyone if I didn’t want to. I might not be great. But what if I could make pictures that pleased me? That would be pretty cool. So I might be heading to the library to check out some how-tos for beginners (if you have recommendations, please share!) and I’ve got a little sketch pad and a drawing pencil itching to be used. And because it’s uncomfortable and scary for me, I’m going to share my first attempt, a cube copied from a book.

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It’s not great. It’s a first attempt. I don’t think it’s going to come naturally to me the way it does for my kids, or the way writing does to me. I’m not going to be the next big artist, and that’s all right. For me, it’s okay that it’s recognizable, and it was fun.

I guess what I take from all of this is that I’m redefining what success means to me. Success is about the leap, the journey, the effort. And I don’t want to be afraid of success anymore.

The Power of Thanks

One of my favorite moments from our recent vacation was when my husband thanked me. I’m a pretty typical Type A person, one who has to make lists and plan everything down to the smallest detail. Sometimes I feel like that trait is more obnoxious than helpful, both to me and to others. But this time, it was good, because I was prepared for almost everything the trip threw at us. And at one point, when I answered one of my husband’s suggestions with “I already looked into that and here’s the answer”, he paused, seemingly surprised, then thanked me for the time and effort I put into planning the trip.

Friends, I probably don’t have to tell you this, but that little gesture felt huge to me. It’s not that my husband doesn’t appreciate me; I know he does, just as I appreciate him. But I do think that after 20 years of marriage, we might have gotten lax in telling each other something as little as “thank you”. We take each other for granted too often, and forget how important it is to express appreciation without wanting something in return.

Those small moments, like my husband thanking me, are part of my mental “You Don’t Suck” file. I saw this on Twitter recently and loved it, because I DO have a YDS file. I have one at home and at work. When I started my new job a year ago, there was much I didn’t know. I felt incompetent and inadequate too often, despite my faith in my intelligence. I started collecting emails where people encouraged me, where they said nice things to me, where they thanked me, and I look back at those when I have a day that kicks my butt.

That’s why I’m making a concerted effort to create those moments for others. There’s so much darkness in the world right now, so much hate and anger. I share in that sometimes, but I can’t sustain it. I need to balance it with the good and the love. So when I see a woman with gorgeous blue/purple hair, I tell her. When someone at work helps me fix a problem, I thank them for their patience with me. My husband manages our retirement accounts so I don’t have to worry about them, and when I realized I never told him how much I appreciated that, I thanked him, simply and sincerely. When my daughter does extra jobs for me without complaining, like running to the grocery store at the last minute, or starting dinner before I get home, I try to thank her every time. Sure, she’s part of this family and benefits from those things too, but her time is just as valuable as mine, and when she uses it to help me at the last minute, I do appreciate it, and what’s the point of keeping that quiet?

If someone makes me smile, makes me feel good, my goal is to tell them. It doesn’t matter if that person is a friend, a stranger, a superior, an employee. If they’re a person, and I’m guessing they all are, they all appreciate sincere thanks.

I think this is why I did well as a manager. I wasn’t the person in the office telling them what to do. I was in the thick of it, doing it myself, asking them to help me, and thanking them every day for their effort. Even if all they did was smile and help customers all day, I thanked them, because a positive attitude is infectious. We all have stuff going on in our lives that can bring us down, and sometimes it’s really hard to set that aside to focus on the task at hand, and I appreciated that effort. And if it was too hard one day, and someone asked to work in solitude in the back, I appreciated that too.

As a manager, I was charged with leading a team to success, and I knew every day that my people were working hard to HELP ME achieve that goal. I couldn’t do it alone, and I couldn’t do it if they were unhappy. So I did what I could to keep them happy. I worked alongside them, laughing as much as possible. I encouraged them, even when the task was too big. And I thanked them. All the time, as much as I could.

I recently ordered some earrings on Etsy, from a young girl just starting out, and in my package was the most wonderful thank-you note, complete with kitty sketch. It was delightful, made the experience so much more than just a purchase. It was a connection with a person, a kind, funny, talented person, and we need those connections desperately. It’s why I always sent a thank-you note with everything I sold; I wanted them to know that there was someone behind that knit hat they’d just bought, and that someone appreciated them.

The world can be mean and scary right now. So I’m going to laugh at cat videos, swoon over cute dogs, sing along to good music, share the great books I read, and I’m going to thank people. Starting with you, reader: Thank You, truly, for taking the time to read my words. It means a lot to me. It’s lovely to know that I’m not terrible at stringing words together, that I’m not alone in my thoughts.

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Now it’s your turn. Go find someone to thank today!