What makes a house a home? There are so many things – the people, of course. Maybe a furry friend or two (or three). But a big part of it for me is adding all the little things that I love. My plants, my yarn, my Twilight shrine and Twilight blankets, my LEGO displays. And, apparently, things on the walls.

I hung five pictures today. Four are related to my favorite musical artist, Brandi Carlile, and one is a charcoal drawing of a leaf done by my youngest in high school. Just a few little things added to the walls, and suddenly there’s an extra spark of home, of me, and I see them and just smile.

I know my home is busy. It’s colorful and rather full, and it’s done with an eye toward “ooh I like THAT” rather than a cohesive design “theme”. I love that people can come to my home and learn about me just by what’s in my house. We went to dinner at friend’s house recently and their house was just so INTERESTING. There were cool, unusual things to look at everywhere. There were different eras and styles throughout, lots of color in the furniture and the decor, and it all felt so welcoming and personal. It felt like the space of people I would want to spend time with. And that’s what I want, just with a little more dog hair.

I’m curious – what do you like best about your home? What makes it feel most like home?

I don’t really want to write this post, but here I am anyway. We said goodbye to Grace last Monday. She was such a fighter, so stubborn, sweet and loving until the very end, but life just got too hard for her. She got roasted chicken and chocolate and bacon treats, so much love and so many kisses – even our vet snuggled her and cried. Grace always loved people, so the vet was a fun place for her, and I’m so grateful that she was in a happy, loving environment at the end. It was heartbreaking but when we got home, I had such a strong feeling of peace and relief, relief that she wasn’t having to fight so hard anymore.

Of course, since then the grief has come and gone in spurts. The closest I can come to describing it is when your first kid moves away. You know it’s the right thing but there’s still that gap in the house, that feeling of something missing. I miss that healthy, naughty Grace — the one who jumped on the couch to greet us when we walked in the door, the one who loved to sleep on the back of the couch in front of the window, the one who would jump on our bed at every opportunity and just sprawl out for a good long snooze. I miss the snuggles — she was the absolute best at snuggles, laying in your lap or resting her head on your shoulder.

But there is a new simplicity that I’m beginning to appreciate. The morning pill routine is SO MUCH simpler now. We don’t have to worry about a counter-surfing dog stealing food. There’s no barking waking us up at 4 am or 5 am — something she’d done sporadically for years. Two dogs are just easier to handle than three, so I’m going to do my best to focus on that, and hope that the husband and I don’t have the urge to get another dog at the same time!

Thankfully, the other dogs seem to be okay. They were a little needy and clingy the first day or two but now they seem to have settled in. They hadn’t really interacted with Grace much the last few months anyway — she couldn’t play, and she tended to avoid them because they’d plow into her. And now they can get even more attention than before, which should make Duncan happy especially.

So. That’s that. We always know going into it that we’re going to have to say goodbye eventually but it always comes too soon. At least I know that Grace was fully loved for all the time we had her.

I went to a funeral today, for a beautiful 14-year-old girl who was somebody’s daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend. It wasn’t my loss – I didn’t really know her; she was part of my husband’s extended family that we’ve drifted away from. But at one time we were close to her dad, her aunts, her grandparents, and we went today for them.

It’s awful, burying a child. My heart is broken for her poor parents, her family, her cousins, and her sweet friends who were struggling to get through what was probably the first funeral they’ve ever been to. I didn’t know her but I could feel what the loss of her meant to everyone. I could see a hint of what it would be like to lose your child.

But today is also my son’s birthday. I’m even more grateful than usual that I get to be with him to celebrate. I’m grateful that I can close the day with a family dinner and chocolate cake, and hopefully he’ll know how much we love him.

Recently I cast on a little shawl with some green variegated yarn that just wasn’t doing it for me. I liked but it wasn’t what I had in my head for this yarn. I’m still not exactly sure what it’s supposed to be but I do know it needs to be brightened up, so I’ve found a couple of solids to pair with it.

The turquoise is by the same dyer so I know those will pair nicely. The green was supposed to be a pair of shortie socks but I think it might look really fun with these other two. So what to do with them? I’m thinking I might start with the same pattern and just modify it a bit – do sections of garter with the variegated and sections of eyelets with the solids. I don’t think I want to keep the same number of rows as the pattern says – I want to alternate differently-sized sections and add more eyelet rows. I don’t know for sure, and I probably won’t until I just start doing it. So that might be my goal for the weekend.

I haven’t gotten much farther on my Back to the Fuchsia houndstooth shawl – just haven’t had the brainpower for it. I’ve been waking up almost every morning around 4 a.m. For a while that’s when Grace was telling us to get up, so maybe my brain is anticipating it? But now she’s quiet until 5 or 5:30 – which is kind of good and kind of not (when you realize it’s because she’s just declining a little more) – so I would really like my brain to get with it and let me sleep longer. Between the sleep deprivation and a full work week, I only managed simple knitting during the week. I keep thinking to myself, “oh when things calm down…” but I’m not sure that every really happens, does it? Yes, at some point we won’t be caring for a terminally ill dog, but there’s always something.

Anyway, I do hope to get back to the houndstooth over the weekend as well. But if I don’t, that’s okay too!

Happy Saturday, friends.