Tag Archive | writing

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I got complacent. Grace was being so good the last couple of months, not chewing things up when we were gone. I mean, yeah, she was stealing butcher knives, but whatever, right? Then yesterday I was gone for almost four hours and came home to stuffing on the floor. Now, she’s already destroyed our throw pillows, so at first I had no clue what it was from. Then I realized: we have an upholstered chair in the sitting room. It’s one of her favorite spots because it’s in front of a window, so she drapes herself over the back and watches the world go by. Not anymore, pup! Not anymore. Not after this: Oy. This dog. So yeah, she was in the doghouse (figuratively) for the rest of the day. At least until it was time for me to stretch out on the couch with my blanket. Then both puppies thought it was cuddle time with mom. Fine. They’re warm and snuggly. Fortunately, I did have some good to counteract the bad. The yarn store was indeed open yesterday and I did indeed find some yarn. More than I meant to find, honestly. (That’s always what happens, isn’t it?) Last night I hid in my craft room and wound yarn. It was lovely. Please note: not all of this is new yarn! Some of it was in the stash and I decided it needed to be wound. Mostly to make room for the new yarn. This is the new yarn. Yes, I have plenty of cotton now, in a nice variety of colors. The three on the left are Berroco Weekend, which my LYS has for 35% off. It’s a crispy yet soft cotton/acrylic blend and I’ve made several hats with it in the past. The two on the right are Universal Yarn Cotton Supreme, which is a deliciously soft yarn. I’m hoping to get one adult hat and one baby hat out of each skein. I don’t have patterns picked out yet, so some of today will be spent perusing Ravelry.

And some of it will be spent on my manuscript. I have an idea for a new first chapter, so I’m going to play around with that. A fellow knitter/blogger/writer/reader has generously offered to be an extra set of eyes, so I’d like to get it as ready as possible before that happens. I thought it was, honestly, but then I started doubting myself again. There’s a blog I follow written by a literary agent, and she’s strongly anti-memoir. By that I mean, she seems to believe that unless you’re a celebrity or super funny, your memoir won’t sell (with a few obvious exceptions, and I don’t think I’m Cheryl Strayed either). And I know she has the experience to back that up. So yeah, I’ve got that in the back of my mind. But I’m still going to keep pushing forward. I haven’t hit a roadblock big enough to stop me yet!

Oh yeah, one last thing. Here’s the finished purple hat! Ravelry notes are here if you’re interested.

Until next time, happy Wednesday, friends! Go forth and create stuff!

Oscar Night Hat

Feb29

Last night was the Oscars, and of course I was there from the red carpet to the bitter bitter end. No, I’m not commenting on the winners. I really had no preferences. It was just bitter because by then I was so tired but didn’t want to miss any Chris Rock. The upside to a show five hours long (if you count the pre-show) is plenty of knitting time. Our warmer weather made me want a Spring-y project, so I pulled out some Lion Brand Cotton-ease and cast on for a lacy hat. The pattern is Lace Ribbon Slouch Hat and I’m really enjoying it. I love the zig-zag. I did switch the brim from garter stitch to ribbing, because I figure hats always need that stretch, especially one made with cotton. You’d think with that much time it would be done, but I did have to pay a little bit of attention to the lace at times, and I kept getting distracted by the show. Some parts I just had to watch. So I’ve got just one more pattern row and then the decreases. It’ll easily get done today, but not right away. I’m babysitting my newest nephew today for the first time, the one who’s cute but often cranky, and I’m really hoping he treats me well!

I also got my manuscript back from my second reader over the weekend, and she said she really enjoyed reading it. I’m choosing to believe her! But she also gave me some good feedback, so yesterday I dove back in and did a bit more revising. I’m so close to being done with this silly thing! But now I’m wondering if the beginning is too boring. I mean, if someone only asks for five pages, are mine good enough to make them want more? So I’m pondering that, trying to figure out if I can jazz up the first chapter. Still, my goal is to get it submitted to at least one agent by the end of March! yikes scary exciting am I ready for rejection?

Here’s what I found when I got up this morning. Yes, that’s a knife on my couch. Grace is a knife thief. Usually it’s butter knives, because she’s obsessed with butter, but we’ve gotten pretty good at keeping our sharp knives out of her reach. Last night we must have gotten lazy (I was watching the Oscars. I couldn’t leave to wash dishes. Seriously.) so sometime this morning she was probably thrilled to reach the chicken knife. She’s fine. She didn’t have it very long, and I know that because the handle hasn’t been chewed on. She’s grown up a lot but I guess she’ll never lose her love for knives.

Happy Monday, friends. Here’s hoping you don’t find any hidden knives in your house.

Craft Supplies

Feb27

Not much knitting to report today, but I wanted to share my fun crafty purchases from the last two days. I had dinner with a friend last night and took advantage of the restaurant’s proximity to Joann. I *had* to: I had coupons! Of course I found stuff either on clearance or on sale, but still. I used one coupon for some size 9 16″ circs, since that was the only size I was lacking. The rest was too good a deal to pass up. Look at these fun booklets that were only $1.97 each! Buttons were 40% off, and I managed to restrain myself to just ONE button! (There was a woman in my way so I didn’t get to browse very well.) I also went through the button stash my mom gave me and there were some fun ones in there. These were my favorites. Today we took the boy out to a new (to us) art supply store downtown. He and my husband are both amazing artists; I’m a wannabe. I have no drawing/painting talent whatsoever, but I desperately want all the art supplies. I typically console myself with pens and notebooks and today was no exception. I have a problem. I freely admit it. It’s an addiction I have no desire to break.

New Website

Feb9

If you read my blog on an actual computer, you may notice that it looks a little different. I’ve had the same theme since I started two years ago, and I wanted something more colorful, more fun. Plus, I have a better grasp of how WordPress works now, so even though there were a few kinks here and there, I was able to create something a little more complex than before. I’m really pleased with it. The main change is of course the color, but the sidebar moved to the right, since I think that’s where the eye naturally goes. I added a couple of things to the sidebar and re-ordered it. I also updated my About page and added a new page, Shop, which features some of my Etsy items.

Of course, WordPress also reminded me that I’ve almost hit my storage limit, which means within the next month I’ll be making some decisions about the next step. I’m leaning toward upgrading my WordPress plan for a few reasons: the cost includes the domain, it has plenty of storage, it will continue to allow readers to easily comment on posts, and most importantly, it’s what I’m familiar and comfortable with. With any luck, it will allow me to keep going without causing any hiccups for me or you!

Now, let me get to the more exciting part of yesterday: I created a website for my proofreading, bonnymoseley.com! It’s a work in progress; I’m sure I’ll be fine-tuning it for a while. But it’s a solid start, a way for potential clients to find me, get an idea of how I can help them, and see that I take it seriously. Before you comment that there’s no mention of cost/pricing/rates: yep, I know. I’m working that bit out and didn’t want to put it out there before I was ready. It will be on there in the near future. Feel free to share with any of your writing friends, or keep me in mind for YOUR writing project!

No knitting from yesterday; I was busy on the computer all day long. And when I did pick up my knitting late last night before bed, I knit an extra row of gray on the striped hat and yes it looks noticeable and yes I need to tink back and yes I put it in timeout and went to bed. So I’ll give you a puppy photo instead. “Can we go outside now mom pleeeeeeease???”

Joining the Modern World

Feb8

I think I did something really cool this weekend, something that will help my small businesses. I’ve been working on a computer that’s ten years old. Thanks to my husband, it had a huge hard drive, but not much memory and a very slow processing speed. (I don’t speak computer fluently. This is the best I can do.) Anyway, after my word processor kept locking up while I was working on my proofreading job, I decided enough was enough, and I upgraded. I now have a modern computer that runs quickly and smoothly. I have an upgraded version of Pages, with lots of features I didn’t know existed, though soon I’ll be adding Word. The photo editing websites, like PicMonkey, work much faster now, so I can more easily create cool graphics for my Bonny Knits stuff. The proofreading end results are the same, but I can get there faster and more easily, and that’s a huge plus. I’m really excited!

So with this new tool, I’ve decided I’m going to set up a website for my proofreading. Even if I’m mostly getting jobs by word-of-mouth, I’d like to have something people can be referred to, something professional and clear. So I’m checking out hosting sites and trying to decide which route to take. Soon I’ll be asking my authors for testimonials to add to the site, and then it’ll go live and I’ll get jobs to help pay for my computer upgrade and I’ll be even more excited!

Most of my weekend was taken up with words (I did finish my proofreading job and sent back to the author this morning) but last night I cast on for a new hat. I’ve got a small craft show this Saturday, so I’ve been making a few inexpensive pieces to fill out my inventory. I really like this one! Toddler-sized basic beanie in sparkly acrylic, and of course I’ll add a pompom too. The coolest thing is that I learned how to do the jog-less join and now my “seam” is practically invisible!

I love it! But before I can finish it, I should probably do some work toward my newest website. Happy Monday, friends!

The Book’s Not Terrible

Feb4

Whew, what a relief! My friend and I met yesterday morning and she didn’t tear my book to shreds. In fact, she even said I’m a good writer; that always feels good to hear. She did give me some solid feedback that I’m going to incorporate, and we had a really nice conversation. Now I’ve got the book with another, more objective reader (more objective because she wasn’t there for the whole thing) and I’m looking forward to her reaction. Her reaction when I told her what it was about? “Oh, good, it’ll be juicy!” Haha! I don’t know about that, but maybe.

After our meeting, I somehow ended up at my old LYS. No idea how that happened. Okay, yes I do. I’m making a rainbow cowl for my mom, and it had stalled. I’d started a Honey Cowl, DK weight yarn on size 6s, but I wasn’t enjoying it. It was slow, it hurt my elbow, I resisted working on it. Plus it had a lot of purling in it, and I’ve switched to the “right” way to purl, so I didn’t want to go back to this project with the “wrong” purling. I frogged it, and decided to add a second strand to speed things up. I tried white and didn’t like it, so my goal with the LYS was to find a black fingering weight wool to add to it. Not surprisingly, I found one! This was my test to see if I liked them together, and I do! I think it’s very striking, and tones down the brightness of the rainbow. (I love the brightness; not sure if my mom would.) I picked a different pattern, the Hartwell Scarf, and this morning cast on with size 8 needles. So far I’m very pleased with it, and I can tell it’ll go more quickly than it would have before.

Somehow I also made it home with this. Malabrigo Rios, color Teal Feather. Oh, Malabrigo. Why are you so irresistible? I’m pretty sure it will become another Barley hat, because that seems to be the perfect combination. I mean, look at my Pink Frost Barley, finished just last night: So, so pretty! This is a child’s size, and I have enough yarn left to do another one. I think I want to do a baby Barley. That would be perfection. But first I need to get in a solid chunk of proofreading, and then tonight I’ll reward myself with more knitting.

Playing with Words

Feb3

One of the joys of being a proofreader is that I get to read books, books very few people have read before. It’s fun, being part of a tiny circle of readers, although sometimes the book isn’t something I would choose to read otherwise. My current proofreading job is a good one: a memoir about a woman who stopped shopping for a year and examines her relationship to shopping and clothes and self-esteem, and how all those things are intertwined. Her writing is personable, light-hearted and funny while tackling some serious issues. It’s really good, a fun read, and I know I’m supposed to be reading it for the mistakes but I keep getting caught up in the story too. It especially resonates with me, since I worked in the retail clothing business and now buy very few new clothes. Hopefully in the near future I’ll be able to tell you that it’s widely available for sale!

Speaking of memoirs, I’m meeting with my co-worker friend this morning, the one who agreed to be an early reader for my manuscript. I’m scared. I messaged her the other day, saying I was going nuts and was it terrible? The only response I got was, “Can you meet this day?” Well. That’s not very reassuring. Now, I know this woman, and she’s lovely and she will be kind, but she will also be honest, which is what I need from her. Still. Honesty is scary. I truly don’t think my book is terrible, but maybe it’s not interesting enough for a wide readership. Maybe I’m too harsh on some of my former co-workers. Maybe I’m an unfailing pessimist who always assumes the worst. Yep. That last one. Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes. Unless it goes horribly, and then you just won’t hear from me for a while. Either way, I guess you’ll know!

Knitting was my reward last night for a full day of proofreading. I cast on with some Malabrigo Worsted in Pink Frost in a delightful pattern called Barley by TinCanKnits, and it’s coming along nicely. As you can see, it’s also good purling practice for me, since it has that 22-stitch section of garter stitch. I’m rather enjoying my “new” way of purling, and it absolutely makes knitting the next row SO much easier. I really want to curl up and finish this hat, but alas, I have to get cleaned up so I can go listen to someone tell me what’s wrong with the book I wrote. Ack! Cross your fingers for me!

Fear and Self-Loathing

Jan26

Most of us have days when we’re full of those two emotions, am I right? Today is one of those days for me. Besides my life as a mom and wife, I have my passions: my yarn craft, my writing, my proofreading. If I’m not succeeding at those, I feel like I’m failing as a person. Whether that’s right or wrong doesn’t matter. It just is. The brain doesn’t function that way, or at least mine doesn’t. I need to train myself to define “success” more loosely.

So yesterday, you might have seen, I posted about starting a sale on my Etsy shop. I wrote about it here, and I posted a photo on Facebook. I tried to boost the photo but it was rejected, so I tried again with a different photo. Maybe I was obnoxious about it because someone unliked my page yesterday. This morning, I found that I’d lost two more likes. Does it matter? It shouldn’t. It’s not a comment on ME. Except that my knitting IS me, so a rejection of that does feel personal. Thankfully, I also got two new likes (YAY) so that made me feel better. Maybe I should get rid of the Facebook page and just focus on Etsy. I get so caught up in the numbers that I lose focus of what really matters.

Those of you with small crafty businesses, what do you do? Does FB help or hinder you?

Also, rejection just sucks, doesn’t it?

Yesterday, I also handed off my manuscript to a new reader, a former co-worker, and I’m anxious to hear her feedback. What if it’s horrible? I don’t always think it is, but today I do. And soon, I’ll be sending this piece of myself out to agents to critique, and reject.

Yes, rejection sucks. But I guess that’s the risk you take when you put yourself out there, isn’t it? And you just have to keep going to find the reward: those people who truly love what you’re doing and who aren’t shy about saying so. It’s too bad those voices are less frequent and harder to hear/believe.

But here’s the bright spot of my day: I have a potential proofreading client, and as much I love proofreading, I think I need to bump that up in my priorities. I love being that person who helps others shine. So getting a basic website up is on my To Do list, and soon. I’m sure I’ll share it when it’s up!

I’ll close with another highlight. I finished another project last night, a fun slouch hat with some of my newer yarn. I love it, can’t wait to get some better photos so I can list it on Etsy.

I have my knitting, but what about you? How do you cope with rejection, with fear and self-loathing?

On Writing, and Friendship

Jan20

Does anyone else have writing ADD? I’ve got two readers for my memoir, and I should be working on query letters and proposals and all that stuff, and instead, I fell back into an old novel. It’s the first one I ever wrote years ago, and I took it out of the file cabinet to see if it was worth salvaging. Well. I think it might be. And that’s great! Except now I’m distracted, and I just want to work on this now, and I have ideas for where to take the story and I think there could even be a sequel kind of thing…and all of this is more interesting than query letters and proposals. Sigh.

I also have so many friends and former co-workers saying they can’t wait to read the memoir, and that’s exciting! But it’s frustrating, too, because if I’m serious about trying traditional publishing, it will take ages. First you have to query tons of agents, then once you find the right one, they’ll make you revise again (Just guessing. Doubtful the book will be perfect in their eyes.) Then they have to find a publisher for you, then you probably have to wait forever before you actually have a beautiful hardbound little book in your hands.

But if I self-published, it could be available…immediately! I do like immediate gratification. And to be honest, I’m feeling discouraged about the odds of finding an agent. There are so many good books written every year, and I know memoirs don’t sell as well as fiction so they have to be amazing to even be published. I’m struggling to believe that my story is that compelling to a large audience. I’~~m pretending that~~ I think it’s well-written, and I think there are some widely relevant themes, but enough to sell so many copies to make an agent/publisher take a chance on it? I don’t know.

Maybe the problem is that I just read “Furiously Happy” by Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess), and her memoir was just…awesome. Hysterically funny, touching, sad, inspiring, comforting. I want to run out and get her other book right now. I can’t compete with THAT. I know what she’d say to me, though. “Don’t f@*&^%$ compete with me! Do your own thing because you’ve got your own awesome s*#@% going on!”

So here’s my new plan, decided upon this very moment: I’m going to allow myself a break from the memoir while my readers read. Once I get their feedback, I will revise based on that, and then I will dive into queries. And proposals, ugh. Maybe I’ll start with the agents who don’t require proposals for memoirs! Until then, I’ll work on the novel. It will be my distraction while I wait for my readers to finish.

Whew, glad we got that taken care of. Maybe you can help with my other problem. I’ve got this friend. She used to be one of my best friends, then we drifted apart a few years ago. At first I tried really hard to keep it going, but she would always put me off or not respond to texts. I gave up. Many months later, she was back, apologizing, and we got together again. It was always sporadic because…well, life, you know. That was fine. But I’ve tried a few more times to get together with her, and she’s back to the same habits.

I’ve heard that same quote that you have, about not making someone a priority if they don’t do the same for you. But here’s my question: what if it’s not about that? What if she’s feeling anti-social and isolating herself because of emotional issues? I’ve never known her to struggle with depression but I know how that can be hidden. She’s been through a lot the last year or so, and I remember when I was feeling really bad, I pushed away almost all of my friends because it was too hard to connect with people. What if that’s what she’s doing? Does it matter? I guess the end result is the same. The difference would be how I feel about it. Right now I feel hurt, disappointed, and ready to be done with it. If I truly thought it was caused by emotional issues, maybe I would be more forgiving. Then again, this is a long-term habit, not something recent. So maybe it’s just an indication that we’ve outgrown the friendship. It served its purpose at the time, and now we both need different things from different people, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I need to not take it personally, and focus on the wonderful friendships I do have. Do you agree? Have you outgrown friends before? Is it always this awkward and painful?

Oh, and one last thing: Yay! The temperature in my house is consistently above 60 degrees! We paid someone from a heating company 50 bucks to tell us that the system is working as it should, it’s just that 1) the unit for the downstairs is too small and 2) it’s not the right system for this climate. We have a heat pump with electric furnace for supplementary heat, and it just can’t keep up with the frigid Midwestern winters. And neither of those things can be remedied by the home warranty. We’ll just have to make do until we can save up to replace the furnace with a gas unit. Until then, anyone use radiators? Do they put out good heat? Are they worth trying to get the boiler functioning again? We have evidence of water damage from them on the floors; is that a big problem?

Thanks for listening today, friends. You’re as much therapy for me as my puppy is.

I guess I am a writer

Jan15

Have you ever heard that saying,”If you’re a writer, you must write”? Like, ‘real’ writers feel compelled to write. I do think there’s a little truth to that. For a very long time, I tried to write fiction. I have two completed novels in my file cabinet, but my fiction writing is very sporadic. It’s HARD, you know? A few months ago, I decided that because I didn’t feel called to work on those books, or to write others, I wasn’t a writer. I often get those little “What if” moments, thinking “Oh, that would be a cool story!” But then I don’t do anything with them. Therefore, my self-deprecating brain decided that meant I wasn’t a writer.

But then I had an epiphany: I have this blog. I’ve been writing here for quite a while now. I’ve lost track of how long, but I’m thinking it’s around two years. Before that, I journaled. I was being too limiting: I AM a writer. I do feel compelled to write. I don’t write every day, though I’m trying, but I write often. And even though I started this blog primarily to talk about my knitting, I’ve written about a lot of different things: dogs, depression, loss, grief, parenting, reading, and now writing.

I AM a writer. I may not be a writer of fiction, but I am a writer. The things I am compelled to write are true, they’re stories of me and my experiences, my thoughts, my opinions. Maybe that’s selfish, or egotistical, to think that people would want to read about me. But maybe it’s also helpful to read about real people. I know I enjoy reading other people’s personal stories. They help me learn about myself, feel better about myself. They inspire me and teach me. They help me feel not so alone in this often-hard world. So why couldn’t my stories do the same? It’s a lofty goal, for sure, and I don’t know if I’m there yet. All I know is that this is what compels me to write, this is what comes out easily and with passion, these are the stories that read true.

Years ago, back in the stone age when a writer used manila envelopes, snail mail, and SASEs, I sent my second novel out to agents. I probably queried fifty agents, and I received a LOT of rejection slips. Those were disheartening, of course. But! I received one “Query me later”, one handwritten “Well written but not right for me” and one request for a full. No, I didn’t get an agent, and the book didn’t get published. But given the number of queries agents receive, I consider those responses as small successes. At least three people saw potential in my writing. Not just people, publishing professionals. Why didn’t I keep going, keep pushing with this book? No idea. Laziness, fear, frustration. I also had a young child at the time, so I could have easily gotten distracted. I’ve thought about going back to this book, but again, I haven’t pushed myself. Both my novels were written on old computers and revising them would mean completely re-typing them into my current laptop. Yep, that would be a good opportunity to revise. And I might still. But my current manuscript is where my heart is right now, my little memoir from my retail life. So that’s where I’ll be pushing. The real work begins now, as I move into the realm of query letters and proposals. I have to convince someone that my book matters. What tricks or tips do you have for writing query letters?

Last night, I handed off a freshly printed manuscript to my husband. Then, to distract myself, I started a new hat. It’s a lovely dark emerald green, and it will grow up to be a slouchy hat.