Tag Archive | stay at home moms

Work, and Knitting

This morning I went to the bank, like I actually went inside and was at the teller, and she had the manager with her. They had a new machine, he said, so they were doing some training. No problem. It took several minutes longer than usual, and toward the end he apologized. Their trainer was out that day, and they were still getting used to it. That’s fine, I said. I’d been a software trainer before so I know how it goes.

And as I was walking out, it hit me. Yes, I’ve been a software trainer before. I did so many things under the umbrella of “retail manager” that I’d never referred to myself like that before. And…I really liked it. I liked the sound of it. It reminded me of all the time I spent as a trainer, and how much I loved it. It was probably one of my favorite parts of the job, both teaching people how to use the registers and the software, and learning new software so I could be the trainer. I might not end up in a training role in my next job, at least not right away, but this definitely reassures me that I’m on the right track by going back to work.

But at the moment I’m still a happy knitter, and today I met up with another crafter I’d found on Instagram. She makes project bags and I’m addicted to project bags, so it’s a good fit. Plus we’re both big fans of the KC Royals. See, isn’t it fantastic?

It’s so well-made, it even has a wrist strap, and I love that she chose a baseball fabric for the inside, when she could have chosen a cheaper, plain fabric.

I just love it. And I love that maybe I found a new local knitting friend! To thank her for meeting me nearby, I made a small set of three blue stitch markers.

And then I made a couple for myself. I had the beads out, you know?

Right now my knitting is fast and easy. I’m using up my cotton on simple dishcloths, some for me, and some for a craft show I’m doing tomorrow. It’s perfect knitting for when my brain is focused elsewhere, which it is right now.

I can still focus enough on knitting to grab good yarn deals when I see them, though. I found a bag of sock yarns at a thrift store today, and I loved four of the skeins, but these six aren’t really my style, so I’ll probably find them a new home. If you’re a sock knitter and you’re interested, holler at me and I’ll give you a good deal.

I think that needs to be all for today. I have more new yarns to share, but let’s do it another day, okay? I have a craft show to prep for and a cover letter to refine and a resume to submit.

Enjoy your Friday, friends!

Back to work?

Jun9

It has been four years since I left my last full-time position, and, maybe surprisingly, I’m ready to go back. I have been home when I was needed most, I’ve gotten my kids past the most critical stage and now that my daughter is old enough to start driving herself around, I can reach for more. I wouldn’t change anything about the last four years. It was absolutely what I needed to do.

But this is what I need to do now. I miss contributing something vital to the world, something on a bigger scope. I miss being part of a team that’s working together to make the world a better place, one step at a time. I love my creative endeavors, but they’re small, low-impact, solitary. I miss collaboration. I miss using my brain to learn new things and then helping others learn those things. I loved being a trainer, loved helping my peers and staff grow. I loved making a difference in clients’ lives. I’ve got these writing skills, and I feel like I could be using them in so many more ways. I could make an impact in the community…and that’s thrilling.

In no way do I mean this as a criticism of stay-at-home parents. I’ve done it in two long stretches now, and appreciated it both times. Parenting is a huge responsibility, and I admire and respect those to do it full-time. I *know* it’s a job, and a hard one. But it’s also a personal choice, and what works for one family may not be the best choice for another. It was the right choice at that point in time.

But now, my kids have grown up a lot. For that matter, I’ve grown up a lot after all the things I’ve faced the last four or five years. I have more to give, and I want to make a bigger difference. I will still knit, though I might focus more on what sparks my creativity and less on custom orders. I will still write and work on getting my book published. I will still proofread for other writers, though it might take me a little bit longer. But I want to do more. I want to challenge myself. I feel like this is my second wind, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

I Can’t Adult Today

May5

May, you’re killing me already. My brain feels so full. I feel like I’m trying to do 50 million things every day and forgetting 49 million of them. Sometimes people think that because I don’t have an official job, I’m a “lady of leisure”, and while it’s true that I do get great downtime some days, I definitely make up for it on others. My schedule is flexible, but that doesn’t mean my days are empty. I’m lucky, so lucky, to be able to be a mom full-time, but it can still be hard and crazy. And when it’s being a mom to a super-active teenager who doesn’t drive yet, managing and supporting her schedule feels like a job by itself sometimes. It’s one I like, one I chose, and remembering that does help.

I just feel scattered right now, unfocused. I’m trying to get the yarn orders done, I just started a proofreading project, and I’m trying to coordinate all the spring/end of school year stuff that needs to happen. There are birthday presents to buy and forms to fill out and concerts to attend (on a school night, natch, and some of them I want to bring my mom to, which adds another layer of planning) and Mother’s Day is coming up and some days I just want to abdicate my role as social coordinator. Really, that’s all I want for Mother’s Day: someone else to prep the house for company, someone else to buy the food and cook the food and do the dishes without me having to nag. Isn’t that funny, the best gift for Mother’s Day is a day off from being the mom?

Deep breath. I’m on week three of some big changes, and it’s possible they’re affecting me too. I’m halfway through my weaning period for my antidepressant, and I really think it’s going fine. I mean, yeah, I’m stressed out today, but I get stressed out every May when this craziness hits. But I’m not sluggish, overly cranky, weepy, or sleeping poorly, and all of those things are my problem signs.

I think it helps that I’ve committed to becoming healthier, and part of that is regular exercise. I’ve known all along that exercise helps; it’s just been a matter of motivation. Well, I’m tired of being the weight that I am, of feeling the way I have, so yeah, I’m exercising. And even though I admit I feel better when I do it, I still don’t like it. I’m never going to be an exercise junkie, or someone who preaches the joys of exercise. I do it because it’s better for my body and my mind. So, whatever. The stationary bike has become my friend, and I turn up the music and zone out on games on my phone. It works. And I’m making better choices in what I eat, cutting calories, but I’m not calling it a diet. It’s just making healthier choices, and that’s something I need to commit to for the rest of my life.

Ugh. It sucks getting older. Yeah, it beats the alternative, but I do miss the days of not having to worry about calories or exercise or being in charge of multiple people.

But it’s fine. We’re fine. Right? Right. I was going to take today as a rest day, but I think I need the head-clearing action of a little workout, and then I’ll tackle my to-do list, and maybe I’ll feel better when the list is a bit shorter.

Here’s hoping your head space is clearer than mine today!