Tag Archive | knitting therapy

Waving the white flag

Can I whine just a little bit? You can skip this post if you like, it’s fine.

We had the A/C repairman out this week. Again. We might have been their best customer this year: I believe we saw them four times between May and now. We have two units, so it was two visits per unit, but still, I find that excessive, don’t you? And thanks to one of those visits, we had to replace a heat pump with a furnace and do some other expensive crap. It was great. (Can you hear the sarcasm?)

It’s just been a stupid expensive year. We started off with some insulation to try to keep the winter temperature in the house above 62. My car needed body work, and then new brakes a couple of months later. The girl’s car needed some repair. We had our own A/C issues, plus a repair at our rental property. We had to redo two sets of wooden stairs outside once one rotted and broke, as well as redo the concrete work and build a new retaining wall. A dog got sick and along with vet bills, we added an expensive monthly medication to our vet expenses. We had to replace two tires on the husband’s car.

It just keeps coming and coming. We try to plan for projects that need to get done, but then something else falls apart and the other stuff never happens. I keep thinking things are looking up and we might get to turn this ship around, and then bam, something breaks and we have to pay for it. And this is all on top of all the senior year/off to college expenses.

I’m tired, friends. And just a little frazzled.

I know it will be okay, and we’ll muddle through just fine. I keep telling myself all the “cheer up” things I can think of, and in my head I know they’re true and sometimes they help. And yet, I worry, and it’s been hard at times to manage my depression/anxiety crap. It ebbs and flows, and I really do think I might be on the upswing, as long as I can keep the house from falling down around me!

Plus that’s what I have my knitting for, right? (Well, and meds too, thankfully.) My knitting has definitely been therapy for me the last several months and right now my Dotted Rays shawl is my favorite. It’s so soft and squishy and soothing, garter stitch over and over…

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When it’s done, it’s going to be the coziest shawl ever, I do believe. Yarn is Zen Yarn Garden Serenity 20, which only seems appropriate. I need some zen in my life!

You know, every time I write posts like this, I worry that they’re too honest, that I’m sharing too much, and maybe I should just journal. But…whatever. It helps me to write them. And maybe it helps others to know they’re not alone, or to show those who haven’t experienced it that depression isn’t always a “cure it and it goes away” kind of thing. 

Uninspired Knitting

I’ve been knitting, of course. You’ve seen my Hitchhiker and that was a super fun project. But I’m not doing any exciting knitting. I’m kind of stuck in this rut of finishing WIPs, which is great, except it’s not that interesting. Now that I think about it, though, I think my knitting is acting as my therapy, my comfort, my peace. I think I need that balance to the rest of life right now.

Work is fine, but you know, work can just be a little stressful at times, especially when you’re learning tricky new things. The house, well, it’s up in the air right now. We don’t know if we’re staying or selling or when so I’m just muddling along there. The girl leaves for college in three weeks and there’s much still to do before then and I’m starting to feel that little knot in my chest when I think about it but it’s fine, it’ll be fine. Just fine. The husband is stressed out like crazy. Thankfully, the boy is the easy one right now, rather stubborn (I can’t complain too much; he got it from me) but overall easy to please. And the dogs. They’re such good dogs, really. They make me happy.

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Sitting with them with some garter stitch or a vanilla sock in my hands is the happiest, most relaxing thing right now. So that’s what I do. I know I’ll get back to sweaters and lace and all kinds of fun knitting things, but it’ll have to wait a while, apparently. Hills and valleys, right?

I finished the last of these socks last night. The yarn is Indigo Boulevards 2-ply sock in the color Lost Diadem, purchased from the Yarn Charm when the girl and I were on the college visit in Lincoln, Nebraska. I decided we each needed a pair of souvenir socks, and I had plenty of yarn with a bit left over!

With that done, I felt the urge for more garter stitch, so I pulled out my hibernating Easy shawl for some movie knitting last night. I’m almost to the end of the first skein, which means I’m almost halfway through. The yarn is Madtosh DK in the color Gosla and it’s so so so gorgeous and I definitely want this to wear as soon as it cools down around here. (So, like, maybe November, at this rate.)

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One more sign that my knitting is uninspired right now: I’m not buying yarn right now. I haven’t bought yarn since late April. Three months, guys! And we drove near a yarn store over the weekend and I wasn’t even tempted to stop! Now that’s crazy. But I’m happy with all my beautiful yarn in my stash…and okay, I confess, I know I’ll be going to the Loopy Ewe next month, so maybe I’m just biding my time.