The universe is screwing with me, I know it. “Go off your antidepressants? Ha — I’ll show you who’s boss!” I found out Monday that the growth Grace had removed was a cancerous mast cell tumor, high level stage 2 with cancerous cells in the margins. So it could very well recur, and if it does in that location, surgery won’t be an option. At this point she’s happy and appears healthy so we’ll keep a close eye on her, but I just have a sinking feeling that she won’t live to be an old lady.
On top of that, the girl won’t be home for Christmas. I understand why but good grief my heart still hurts. I’m pretty sure it’s the first Christmas she won’t be with us. Growing up is hard, friends! So the last few days I’ve been playing the fun game of “is this normal emoting or is this depression?” So far I’m leaning toward the former. Yesterday started a little rough, but a great afternoon with my work team helped reset my attitude and outlook. We spent a couple of hours sorting donations for a local non-profit that serves low-income families, and even though I felt like we barely made a dent, it felt great to do something good for someone else. After that, we gathered for happy hour and white elephant gift exchange. Here’s what I took:
I wrapped it in a wine gift bag and it got ignored until very late in the game but as soon as it was opened, it was immediately stolen twice (which was our limit). I think it’s okay to say that it was one of the better gifts, which included things like a used/not completely clean sandwich press, a russet potato, and a plastic spaghettio’s bank. I came home with a holiday apron/oven mitt set, a bag of trail mix, a box of sugar free/fat free vanilla pudding mix, and, best of all, a tall glass jar that is the perfect thing to store straight knitting needles!
It was really nice to wake up this morning and feel okay again. I’m continually reminded of how grateful I am for my work environment, for my teammates, for my knitting friends. I don’t know that I’d be this okay without them. I know this is a hard time of year for many people, so I hope you’re all doing well and finding some moments of joy!
Happy Wednesday, friends.