Two steps forward, one step back

So you know by now that the renovation project at our house is done (hooray!) and the floors have been refinished (hooray!) and that’s two big stressful things that I can cross of my list of things causing me stress. Last weekend the husband and I took off for a three-day weekend at Eureka Springs, Arkansas, to celebrate our anniversary, and wow did I need the getaway. The physical change was enormous — I felt so much lighter and relaxed. It really cemented a couple of things for me. One, that he and I need to get away more often, even if it’s just date nights most of the time with an overnight every so often.

And two, which is the bigger thing in my mind, is that I need to not be in charge of so much. We a big renovation project at our house, the floor project, getting our rental property ready to sell — and I was basically acting as the project manager for all of them, plus working. I’ll be the first to admit that this is mostly my fault. I tend to take control of things, to be in charge. That’s how it’s been for most of our married life, especially with two younger kids and when I wasn’t working. But now he and I are both working full time, we both have elements of our jobs that stress us out, and our kids are both adults now. I’m ready to let go, ready to let the husband step up, ready to let the boy step up. It’ll be a process, for sure, but even just talking to the husband about it was a big relief.

So, all good things, right? We stayed in a bed and breakfast where we could see deer right outside our room, plus white squirrels and hybrid gray and white squirrels. We did some shopping, ate some great food and some just okay food, took a hike around a lake, and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was a good way to celebrate 24 years married.

Coming home wasn’t too bad at first. I got back into the work routine, finished unpacking all the stuff from the floor project, had some good knitting time. I wasn’t as relaxed as during the trip but still wasn’t as stressed as before the trip. Then on Friday, this happened:

Yeah, that’s my car there, the Charger, my beloved Edward. He was parked on the street, minding his own business, when some idiot came blazing around the corner and plowed into him, then took off. I heard it but he was long gone by the time I made it outside. The impact pushed Edward into my husband’s car, which was parked on the street so the gutter guys could do their job. Thankfully, his car isn’t too badly damaged, since it’s only two years old. But Edward is crunched front and back, and he had to be towed to the body shop. I filed a police report but don’t expect any results from it, and I asked the neighbors if anyone had video footage, and no luck there. Basically, we’re screwed and our insurance will have to cover it, and we’ll pay the deductibles to get both cars repaired. ARGH. And given that Edward is almost ten years old, there is a good chance he will be totaled. Up side: yay, fun new car! Down side: I was hoping to wait until at least next spring to replace him, when it will be a little easier to fit a car payment into the budget. We are very lucky that it is manageable, and we’ll be fine; it’s just not what I had in mind. But that’s what they say, right? Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans, or something like that.

I’ve had a couple of days to process it and I’m still annoyed but have come to terms with it, at least logistically. If he is totaled, I’m likely to have an emotional response, since I bought this car right around the time my dad died and I quit my job and my life was changing so much. I bought Edward by myself, negotiated and everything, and he was kind of a symbol of me choosing a different path for my life. Anyway. Still just a car and I’m grateful no one was hurt and that we have the means to replace him if needed.

I really hope your week has been less eventful than mine! Happy Sunday, friends.

10 thoughts on “Two steps forward, one step back

  1. I’m so sorry about your cars. Not like on TV where they always have traffic cameras to catch the criminal. How awful that they just drove off versus own up to the damage. Congrats on recognizing that you are taking on too much and you need to let others step up and help. Sounds like you have a good hubby that’s willing to do his part. Congrats on 24 years – you must have been teenagers. You both look like children to me. šŸ™‚

  2. Iā€™m so sorry about your car šŸ˜¦ I have been there before, my car got totaled just about 2 years after buying it and I was sooo not ready to buy another one.
    Congrats on your anniversary, and on being able to decide what you need in life right now! Sounds like the time away was really good.

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