Penny Progress, and stuff

Once I got the sleeves done on my Penny sweater, I realized how close I was to the finish line and it’s been very motivating. I joined the body and sleeves on Sunday night…then after four rows of lace, wondered if I was doing the lace right…decided I wasn’t so I pulled out two rows of one lace section to reknit it…then realized I was doing it right the first time and it was all hecked up now…so I laid it out on my dining room table and frogged back to where the body and sleeves were separate pieces again, and rejoined. It was a bit very frustrating and there was cursing and wine and the boys knew to stay away from me. But I got it all sorted out so that yesterday I could move forward confidently with the yoke.

955CEFBD-6F8F-448B-8EAA-415BE5E0A5A4_1_201_aEven though it decreases 10 stitches every other round, it feels like it’s taking forever, and I’m ready to be done. But it’s encouraging to see it take shape, and I know I’ll be excited to wear it…in a few months.

I also ordered some new books yesterday. I got two by Nic Stone from Semicolon Bookstore, Chicago’s only Black woman-owned bookstore and gallery space. One is Dear Justyce, the sequel to Dear Martin, which I loved. And from Brain Lair Books, a Black woman-owed bookstore in Indiana, I ordered Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby and Black Girl Unlimited, a young adult novel about a teenage wizard. I’ve been reading a lot more the last couple of weeks, so I’m looking forward to having new books added to my TBR pile.

I’m working on the right balance of content in my social media, and feeling weird but better than last week. It does feel nice to share some knitting on Instagram again. But the last couple of days, I’m thinking about Facebook. I have three or four “friends” who share posts with statements or beliefs that I don’t agree with, things like “All lives matter” and “Share this if you support Cop’s [sic] lives” and “the whole world just needs Jesus and then it would all be okay but no one is standing up against homosexuality or debauchery or…”. And I’m struggling with whether to unfriend, ignore, or speak up.

I did speak up against the “all lives matter” one, and it made no difference. “My comment was not racial,” they said. Sure, except I think it is, because it ignores and devalues the Black Lives Matter movement, which I believe is hugely important. To be clear: yes, of course all lives matter, but they have never mattered equally and the goal of the movement to is get Black lives valued the same as white lives.

One side of me says I don’t interact with these people in other ways on Facebook, and why would I be friends with people who don’t believe in equality, in loving ALL people equally? Why would I be friends with someone who uses their religion to practice discrimination and hate? I am an atheist but have no issues with people who have faith and don’t try to use it to actively condemn or change others who believe differently.

Another side of me says it’s good to have connections with people who think differently than you, that you should keep a dialogue open. What if something I share or say helps them see something differently? That would be pretty good. But what if it doesn’t, and seeing their posts just makes me hurt and angry? They’re not changing my mind, why would I think I’m changing theirs?

I don’t know the answer. Honestly, I don’t think there is one answer. How do you all handle this stuff?

Just now I flipped over to Facebook, trying to decide whether to actually post this, and this TED talk popped up in my feed: Why it’s worth listening to people you disagree with. Maybe it’s one answer, or part of an answer?

12 thoughts on “Penny Progress, and stuff

  1. I’m having trouble with that too. I haven’t been on facebook in a few weeks and it has been a good change for me. Your sweater is looking amazing. If you are looking for a nice novel to support a black author I’m currently reading the Boyfriend Project by Farrah Rochon, it covers racial issues and it’s a romance novel, so it helps me learn and I can read it when my brain is off.

    • Well, if you ever go back, feel free to look me up! I tend to stay on there because that’s where my siblings post all the cute photos and stuff that my nieces and nephews do, but I spend less time browsing these days. I’ll check out the book, thanks!

  2. Your sweater is looking great! It sounds like you have some interesting books there 🙂 I have a lot of friends/acquaintances on social media that I don’t 100% agree with on various issues. I don’t fight with them unless they start something with me on something I post, because I feel like all that does is make people more stubborn in their opinions. However, you may say or show something that does make them think about things a little differently. That said, I’m spending much less time on social media, which I think has been a good thing.

    • Yeah, I think part of it is me trying to figure out how I (and others) see their posts: are they like bumper stickers on a car, where it’s just like, “this is me!”, or are they like conversation starters at a social gathering. I think it’s probably more the former, and I’ve been looking at them as the latter. Sure, if you post it publicly, you have to be prepared for discussion, but maybe the posting itself isn’t an invitation for discussion? Anyway, thank you for your thoughts–I think that’s a good way to handle it!

      • True – it’s hard to tell what people’s intentions are when they post stuff online. For some people it’s their position statement, for others it really is a conversation starter, and for others still, it’s to intentionally start trouble. It definitely is tiring and difficult to figure out what to do with handling these online conversations.

  3. Your sweater looks beautiful!

    I know what you mean…I used to have really discouraging conversations on FB with people and ultimately, I found I couldn’t change their minds. I am not on FB much anymore, but I’ve found that most of my IG crew is like-minded. On one hand, I do think it’s good to have to have different views and perspectives, but on the other hand, things like “All Lives Matter” is definitely a dog whistle for some really ugly beliefs. It’s challenging, and I don’t have the right answer to that. :\ But I think talking about it openly on here is definitely a good thing 🙂

    • Yes, I’ve definitely curated a good IG feed with like-minded accounts. I wonder why I think that’s okay but I struggle with doing the same on FB? I did unfriend someone the other day after they shared yet another post criticizing BLM, and it felt pretty good!

      • I totally understand! I feel like it’s so much easier to spread garbage on FB with permanent wall posts, how people can see your comments on memes and other people’s wall posts…

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